Applications are now open for the 2024 Braver Angels Convention. Apply Now.
Apply now for the 2024 Braver Angels Convention.

Civility vs. Incivility

Facebook
Twitter
Reddit
Email

We, as Americans, cherish the freedom and right to disagree—which we do, often deeply about important issues that need resolution. But polarization undermines that freedom by tightening prejudices rather than opening thought, thus diminishing the chances for finding resolutions and moving forward.  So while polarization may feel like a righteous champion of freedom and right, it is in fact just the opposite—a stick jammed in the spokes of the democratic discourse of freedom. Here are some of the common ways it does it:

  1. SEDUCES with loaded, heated language and childish name-calling that appeals more to emotion that reason.
  2. BLINKERS by using cherry-picked facts, and ignoring or mocking opposing arguments and evidence rather than actually addressing them.
  3. TRIVIALIZES by focusing on “straw-man” issues whose value in re-enforcing biases is clearly greater than their substance.
  4. BULLIES by making you feel like a dupe or a traitor if you even listen to the other side.
  5. FLATTERS with language and a tone that makes you feel like an insider, who, of course, agrees with them because you “get it” … just like they do.
  6. FRIGHTENS by portraying the other side as not just wrong, but a dangerous, evil enemy, replete with wicked hidden agendas.
  7. “CLANS,” that is, plays the “us vs. them” identity politics game of associating the other view with groups or people (implicitly) “inferior” to “us.”
  8. “TRIBES” by using the knowing winks and nods of sarcasm, coded language, words in quotes (suggesting they’re misleading) and innuendo which you, as a member of the tribe, of course, will understand without explanation or justification.

This week . . . in addition to the usual back and forth of red vs. blue polarization, there was increasing back and forth over the issue of polarization itself. Many insisted we need a return to civility. But others argued, understandably, that you must resort to incivility to win. And they have a point. Incivility can be effective because emotional appeals, (especially ones that prey on fear, resentment, prejudice and hate) are powerful tools of persuasion. The problem with incivility (like torture?) is not its effectiveness, but its cost.

Civility in American politics is more than politeness. Civility is the language of resolving disagreement in a free society, much as the process of law is the language of seeking justice in a fair society. Yes, there are plenty of times when it drags on and even fails, and you want to wield the swift, satisfying “Dirty Harry” sword of vigilante-ism to slash through the Gordian knot of due process…or civil discourse. That was exactly the argument and emotion that enticed the frustrated citizenry of Germany to abandon the cumbersome liberal democracy that was taking root in the Weimar period of the 1930s. I’m not saying that’s where we are. But looking around the world and seeing the same willingness to “f–k civility” in one democracy after another you can’t help but wonder where it stops. And consider what is at risk.

But what do you do when confronted with an opponent who seems to gain ground by lying, insulting, goading, bullying, and generally “f—king” civility?

There is no easy answer. Spitting back in kind plays to their strength and promotes the destruction they seek. And just being deferential and polite and hoping people will notice is a weak counter the screaming fire and brimstone of aggressive uncivil political speech.

But one guide might be found in our recent past. Proponents of incivility sometimes cite the success that civil disobedience—acts of incivility—had in the struggle for civil rights. But I remember civil disobedience differently. I have a much stronger recollections of the raging incivility of dogs and firehoses being turned on American citizens than I do of the “incivility” of African Americans sitting down and ordering lunch at a “whites only” public lunch counter. The genius and courage of the civil rights movement, as I look back on it, was that it achieved victory not by being uncivil, but by highlighting the vastly greater incivility of racism that ultimately ran counter to the braver angels of the American heart. America, after all, is not defined by a common ethnicity, language, religion, race or culture. America is defined by a common love for the ideals in the rule book of civility called the Constitution. That is who we are.

To disrespect civility, in short, is a to disrespect America. That is the Achilles heel of incivility. The name calling, bullying, fabricating, manipulating and other techniques of uncivil political speech and actions may strike emotional chords. But they are anathema to our core beliefs and values as Americans.

So the way to fight this poison, this attack on America, in the face of the jeers and taunts and slurs and insults, is to stand up, go in and steadfastly, determinedly, unflinchingly sit down and order lunch.

When reading these examples, check the above list and ask yourself: regardless of whether you agree or disagree, is this really advancing an intelligent resolution through the persuasive, rational arguments of advocacy…or simply fueling the fire of conflict through the divisive, emotional manipulations of polarization?

Here are just a few of the week’s headlines on opposing views about polarizaiton, from the left and right and in between.

Fuck civility

More civility, please; our democracy needs it

Left loudly celebrates lack of civility

Far-right voices are frothing about a looming civil war

Bonfire of Civility

Don’t Match Maxine Waters’ Incivility With Disrespect

Sometimes There Are More Important Goals Than Civility

Return civility to political debates

White America’s Age-Old, Misguided Obsession With Civility

I mourn the death of civility in our nation

How “Civility” Became a Buzzword—and Lost All Meaning

Return civility to political debates

‘Civility’ Is What Gave Us Trump in the First Place

Freedom Of Speech And The Civility Debate

Rep. Mike Johnson: It’s National Day of Civility—And we sure need it!

The Red Hen Affair: Demands for ‘civility’ are almost always aimed at shutting down free speech

Opinion: It’s time to return to civility

The war on civility is a war on America and other commentary

Local leaders urge return to civility, respect

The big problem with those conservative calls for ‘civility’

To Be a Better Nation, Bring Back Civility

Why You Need to Say No to Civility

Oh where, oh where has civility gone

More to explore

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Braver Angels Support